Why Have Children?

Vale of tears

Why bring children into such a crazy world today? As population levels decline across the world, clearly many prospective parents have chosen not to.

The reasons to forgo parenthood are many. Primary is economic hardship. Some can't handle the burden. Some prefer a more carefree lifestyle, one more conducive to self-fulfillment, perhaps. Some recognize they are not called to be parents. And some view the world as a place with more sorrow than happiness and believe having a child, who has no choice, is cruel and unfair. That it is like condemning a child to a life in prison.

For the record, I chose not to get married and have children for a variety of reasons. And I was under great pressure to do so. This was a deeply considered decision, one that has had many consequences. At age 70, I believe I made the right choice — for my situation. But its significance weighs on me daily.

Question

So I was curious to find out what AI had to say about bringing children in the world today. In particular, since I'm becoming a Catholic, I directed AI to find answers provided by the Church. Note that what follows is AI's interpretation of Catholic doctrine, not an official statement. Also, "vale" is an older, poetic term for the word "valley."

AI answer

In the Catholic tradition, the world is a "vale of tears,” famously captured in the Salve Regina prayer [presented at the end of this post]. It acknowledges the reality of original sin and the genuine weight of human suffering. 

However, the Church’s encouragement of procreation isn't a dismissal of that pain; rather, it’s rooted in a specific understanding of existence, hope, and the ultimate purpose of life.

Here is the breakdown of that perspective:

1. Existence is a Fundamental Good

In Catholic theology, "being" is considered better than "non-being." Drawing from Genesis, the Church maintains that while the world is fallen, it remains fundamentally good because it was created by God. 

Procreation is seen as the act of bringing a new person into existence so they can experience the gift of life and, ultimately, the "Beatific Vision"—eternal union with God.

From this viewpoint, the temporary struggles of Earth, however intense, are eclipsed by the potential for eternal joy.

2. The Theology of Hope vs. Optimism

The Church distinguishes between optimism (the feeling that things will just turn out okay) and hope (the theological virtue). Bringing a child into a broken world is viewed as a radical act of hope. It is an assertion that:

3. Redemptive Suffering

Catholicism doesn't see suffering as purely "dead weight" or a mistake. Through the lens of the Crucifixion, the Church teaches that struggle and disappointment can be "redemptive."

This doesn't mean suffering is sought after, but that it can be a means of spiritual growth, empathy, and purification.

By bringing children into the world, parents are inviting them into a journey that includes struggle, but with the belief that those struggles have meaning and can lead to a greater strength of soul.

4. Co-Creation and the "Will"

The objection regarding "bringing children against their will" is often addressed by the idea of parental stewardship.

In Catholic thought, parents are "co-creators" with God. Because a non-existent person has no will to consult, the Church entrusts the decision to the parents, who act on the "presumed will" that any being, once they exist and eventually find purpose or love, would prefer to have been called into life rather than never to have been at all.

5. The World is a "Gymnasium," Not Just a Prison

While the "prison" analogy highlights the limitations and pains of life, many Catholic thinkers, like Irenaeus, or even C.S. Lewis (an Anglican), suggest the world is more like a "vale of soul-making." It is the environment necessary for free will to exist and for humans to choose love over selfishness. 

Without the possibility of disappointment or struggle, the virtues of courage, sacrifice, and perseverance would be impossible to cultivate.

In short, the Church encourages procreation because it views the human person not as a victim of a cruel world, but as a traveler on a difficult road leading to an infinite destination.

The "vale of tears" is seen as a temporary passage, and the gift of life—even a hard one—is considered the necessary starting point for an eternal destiny.

My response

I'm not a parent, so there's little I can say about being one. I was a child, and from that perspective I encourage all who would have children to consider these points:

If there is hesitation to have children because the world one lives in is deficient, then there is no greater motivation to make that world a better place.

Salve Regina prayer

Hail, Holy Queen, Mother of Mercy,
our life, our sweetness and our hope.
To thee do we cry, poor banished children of Eve:
to thee do we send up our sighs,
mourning and weeping in this valley of tears.
Turn then, most gracious Advocate,
thine eyes of mercy toward us,
and after this our exile,
show unto us the blessed fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
O clement, O loving, O sweet Virgin Mary!
Pray for us, O Holy Mother of God.
That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.